From Approval Addiction to Authentic Success: 6 Harsh Truths That Transformed a Multi-Million Dollar Entrepreneur

TL;DR

• Approval addiction, not fear of failure, is the real reason most entrepreneurs stay stuck
• Success demands trading comfort for growth, including changing friend groups and habits
• Clarity comes from motion—you'll never feel ready until you take action
• Your thoughts are just noise; you don't have to believe everything you think
• Acceptance of negative emotions is more powerful than resistance
• Small daily choices compound to create massive life changes over time
• The disconnect between desire and behavior keeps people trapped in cycles they hate

What is Approval Addiction? Approval addiction is the unconscious prioritization of others' acceptance over your own self-approval, which blocks authentic success and personal growth by keeping you trapped in patterns designed to please others rather than fulfill your potential. — Leila Hormozi

The Hidden Prison: How Approval Addiction Destroys Entrepreneurial Success

At 19 years old, Leila Hormozi had been arrested six times in one year and was at what she describes as "the absolute rock bottom" of her life. Yet it wasn't until she identified and conquered what she calls "approval addiction" that she was able to transform her life and build a multimillion-dollar company.

The revelation came during a business mastermind where Hormozi was one of the youngest attendees and one of the few women. Someone approached her about her clothing choice—comfortable athleisure wear from Lululemon—and delivered a crushing verdict: "If you dress like this, I just want you to understand that nobody's ever going to take you seriously. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to cover your whole body and you can't dress like this."

This single interaction triggered what Hormozi now recognizes as a five-year spiral into approval addiction. "For the next four or five years, literally all I thought about when I was getting changed in the morning was the fact of what they had said," she recalls. She completely changed her wardrobe, throwing out all the clothes she felt comfortable in, and began dressing in ways that felt foreign to her authentic self.

The psychological impact was devastating. Every day she wore her new "appropriate" clothes, she felt like people were looking at her strangely, like she couldn't attend business meetings with confidence. "I ended up just losing confidence in myself," she explains. The irony was palpable—in trying to gain others' approval to boost her credibility, she had actually undermined her own self-assurance.

The breakthrough came when Hormozi realized a fundamental truth: "Regardless of if I was dressing like that or I was dressing in the way that I wanted to dress, either I was getting the approval from others or I was getting approval from myself." She had been sacrificing her own self-approval for the approval of people she "didn't look up to, didn't want their lives, and actually didn't even really respect them."

This pattern extends far beyond wardrobe choices. Most entrepreneurs hesitate to step up because they're terrified of being judged. They want approval and acceptance more than they want success, more than they want the life they claim to desire. As Hormozi puts it: "If you're unwilling to be misunderstood, you are essentially unwilling to get unstuck."

The solution requires a fundamental shift in perspective. Instead of fighting the feeling of being judged, Hormozi advocates staying in that uncomfortable zone. "Once you realize that you can tolerate judgment from other people, you can have anything you want and you can be whoever you want." The freedom exists on the other side of judgment, not in its absence.

The Trade-Off Truth: What Success Really Costs

Success isn't just about wanting something badly enough—it demands concrete trades that most people aren't willing to make. Hormozi learned this lesson through her own friendship dynamics, where she realized she was prioritizing comfort over growth in her personal relationships.

"I was so comfortable in the friend group that I had that I chose remaining friends with these people rather than having the life I wanted, because I knew that if I wanted to pursue that life, I would lose those friends," she explains. Living with a group of friends who were "great people" but whose habits worked against the habits she needed to build for success, Hormozi faced constant friction whenever she tried to deviate from their norm.

The subtle resistance was enough to make her retreat: "Every time I would start to do something different, there'd be little things they would say and little judgments they would cast upon me. And I just remember that slight discomfort. It was just enough friction to make me think, you know what? It's fine. I don't need to do that."

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Key Insight:

You don't get what you want most in life—you get what you work for. And most people are actually working to keep their comfort.

This reveals a harsh truth about human behavior: we are not our desires, we are our actions. If your calendar, bank account, and time allocation don't reflect your stated goals, then those aren't really your goals—you want your current life more than the one you claim to want.

Hormozi offers a practical framework for identifying these misalignments:

Assessment Area	Action Required	Key Question
Calendar	Highlight where time actually goes	What doesn't align with stated goals?
Bank Account	Track spending patterns	Where does money flow vs. where it should?
Social Circle	Evaluate friend group habits	Do they support or sabotage growth?
Daily Choices	Identify comfort-seeking behaviors	What am I working to preserve vs. change?

The disconnect between desire and behavior creates the patterns that keep people stuck in lives they hate, simply because those patterns are easier than choosing growth. Real change requires replacing comfort-seeking activities with growth-oriented ones, even when it means losing relationships or changing long-held habits.

For practical application, Hormozi suggests examining specific trade-offs: "Maybe you're spending $200 a month on your nails, but you don't spend $200 on a gym membership, and you're out of shape." Or perhaps it's "Taco Tuesday with friends" that leads to anxiety, poor decisions, and two-day recovery periods that could be replaced with 90 minutes of educational content.

These small changes compound over time. The person who chooses the gym membership over nail appointments, or educational content over destructive social activities, becomes fundamentally different through accumulated daily choices. Success isn't a single decision—it's the result of consistently choosing growth over comfort in small, seemingly insignificant moments.

The Motion Principle: Why Clarity Comes from Action, Not Planning

One of the most paralyzing myths in personal development is the belief that you should wait until you feel ready before taking action. Hormozi's experience across multiple ventures—from starting Gym Launch to creating content to moving across the country—proves the opposite: readiness is earned through action, not preparation.

"I did not feel ready when I started my first company, Gym Launch, when I gave up all of my clients," Hormozi reveals. "I had a roster of personal training clients. I gave all of them up to start this company. I never felt ready. I did not feel ready when I started making content. I did not feel ready when I moved across the country. I did not feel ready when I got married. I did not feel ready when I started Acquisition.com. None of it."

This pattern reveals a fundamental truth about human psychology: "You will only ever feel ready the second time you do something. That's it. So if you haven't done it before, you're never gonna feel ready. The second time you do it, you can feel ready. The first time, never gonna feel ready."

The traditional confidence-building model has it backwards. Most people believe confidence comes first, then action follows. In reality, the sequence works like this:

How to Build Genuine Confidence (4 Steps)

• Take Action- Move forward despite feeling unprepared
• Build Experience- Learn through doing, not studying
• Develop Competence- Acquire actual skills through practice
• Generate Confidence- Feel assured based on proven ability

This creates a crucial distinction between authentic confidence and false confidence. Authentic confidence is built on a foundation of experience and competence—you feel confident because you've done it before and know you can do it again. False confidence is built on hope, visualization, or external validation without the underlying skill set.

Waiting to feel ready is particularly dangerous because it creates an infinite loop of preparation without progress. "If you are waiting to start your life, you will never have the life you want," Hormozi warns. The person who spends months researching the perfect business plan, workout routine, or relationship strategy while taking no action will always be surpassed by the person who starts imperfectly and learns through iteration.

The practical application is deceptively simple: identify one thing you've been waiting to feel ready for, break it down into the smallest possible first step, and do that step today. The key is immediate action—not tomorrow, not next week, but today. As Hormozi notes, "If you make a plan, start the first step today. Why is that? You buy yourself in. We have to get ourselves to buy in our own plans."

This self-commitment mechanism is crucial because it transforms abstract intentions into concrete investments. Once you've taken the first step, you've created momentum and psychological ownership that makes continuing easier than stopping.

Key Insight:

Confidence does not come first. Action comes first, then experience, then competence, then confidence. You're not going to feel confident before you do the first rep—you'll feel confident on the second rep.

Mastering Mental Noise: The Power of Thought Detachment

Perhaps the most liberating realization in personal development is understanding that thoughts are not facts—they're simply mental phenomena that you can choose to engage with or ignore. Hormozi's struggle with body image provides a powerful example of how outdated mental programming can persist long after circumstances change.

"One of my biggest insecurities ever since I lost weight is that I always feel like I'm still 100 pounds heavier," she explains. "I've been at the gym and I will walk past a mirror at the gym and be like, she looks good. Oh my God, it's me. I'm like, no, I'm 100 pounds heavier because most of my life I was chubby, I was made fun of, I was overweight."

This dissociation illustrates how the mind can operate on outdated software. "Sometimes you just need an update," Hormozi observes. "That's how your mind is sometimes. Sometimes you just need an update." The thoughts aren't current reality—they're historical data being replayed in a loop.

Most people live on autopilot, letting their internal dialogue steer their actions without ever questioning its validity. The solution lies in what Hormozi calls "thought attachment"—the process of identifying certain thoughts as optional rather than mandatory.

The technique involves recognizing that thoughts are "just words and pictures in your head. You can take it or leave it. It's up to you. Would you like to believe this thought today? Or would you not like to believe this thought today?"

Even when thoughts might contain some truth, their helpfulness matters more than their accuracy. "Maybe you have gained five pounds," Hormozi acknowledges. "Do you think thinking 'I'm a fat piece of shit' is helpful? It's just not helpful. So at some point you have to be like, it might be true, but it doesn't help me. Instead, I could think, you know what? I have gained five pounds and I can also lose five pounds because I'm a badass."

The practical application involves labeling thoughts as they arise: "I notice that I'm having the thought that I'm not smart. I notice I'm having the thought that I'm a complete fucking failure." This creates psychological distance between you and the thought, making it easier to evaluate objectively.

Hormozi uses a highway metaphor to illustrate this process: "I think of it like I am off-road. I have my car pulled on the side of the highway. And I watch all these cars driving by. And those cars are my thoughts. And each one of them, I see them in the car. And then I'm like, do I want to get in? Do I not want to get in? Do I want to get in with that stranger? Do I want to get in with that guy driving the semi? Do I want to get into the Lamborghini or the Rolls Royce? You get to choose."

This choice-based approach drains power from destructive thought patterns. By consistently practicing this detachment, you "cut the power out of your thoughts" and make them "a lot weaker and then it's a lot easier to detach from it."

The Acceptance Paradox: Why Fighting Emotions Makes Them Stronger

The final piece of Hormozi's transformation framework involves understanding that resistance amplifies whatever you're trying to avoid. This counterintuitive principle applies especially to negative emotions, which become more powerful when fought and less influential when accepted.

For years, Hormozi operated under the misconceptions that thoughts should be facts and that negative emotions were problems to be solved rather than natural experiences to be acknowledged. This resistance created additional suffering on top of the original discomfort.

The shift toward acceptance doesn't mean becoming passive or giving up on improvement. Instead, it means recognizing that negative emotions are information, not commands. They signal important data about your environment, relationships, or internal state without requiring immediate action to eliminate them.

This principle extends to the entire journey of personal transformation. The discomfort of being judged, the awkwardness of changing friend groups, the uncertainty of starting new ventures—these feelings are not obstacles to overcome but natural byproducts of growth to be expected and tolerated.

Acceptance creates space for strategic response rather than reactive behavior. When you're not fighting the feeling of judgment, you can focus on taking the actions that align with your values. When you're not resisting the discomfort of leaving your comfort zone, you can evaluate whether the discomfort is worth the potential growth.

How to Apply These Principles: A Practical Framework

Implementing these six harsh truths requires systematic approach rather than sporadic effort. Here's how to begin:

• Identify Your Approval Addictions - Write down one thing you're holding back on because you're afraid of judgment. Take one small step toward that action today, whether it's posting content, having a difficult conversation, or sharing an idea.

• Audit Your Trade-offs- Examine your calendar and bank account. Circle one thing you're spending time or money on that doesn't align with your stated goals. Replace it with something that does.

• Take Action Before Readiness- Choose something you've been waiting to feel ready for. Break it into the smallest possible first step and complete it today.

• Practice Thought Detachment- When negative thoughts arise, label them: "I notice I'm having the thought that..." Then decide whether engaging with that thought serves your goals.

• Accept Discomfort as Data- Instead of fighting negative emotions, ask what information they're providing. Use that data to make strategic decisions rather than reactive ones.

• Track Small Changes- Document the small daily choices you make differently. These compound over weeks and months into significant life changes.

The transformation Hormozi describes—from someone arrested six times in a year to a multimillion-dollar entrepreneur—didn't happen through a single dramatic moment but through consistently applying these principles in small, daily situations. The person who chooses authenticity over approval, growth over comfort, and action over readiness becomes fundamentally different through accumulated choices.

Key Insight:

We are not our desires, we are our actions. If your time, calendar, and money don't reflect your goals, then be honest with yourself—it's not really the life you want. You want the life you currently have more than the one you say you want.

Common Mistakes That Keep People Stuck

Most people fail to implement these principles because they underestimate the subtlety of self-sabotage. The desire for approval doesn't announce itself—it masquerades as "being professional" or "not wanting to offend anyone." The preference for comfort doesn't feel like laziness—it feels like "loyalty to friends" or "maintaining stability."

Another critical mistake is expecting linear progress. Transformation involves setbacks, moments of doubt, and temporary returns to old patterns. The goal isn't perfection but consistent redirection toward growth-oriented choices.

Finally, many people try to change everything simultaneously rather than focusing on one principle at a time. Real change requires depth, not breadth. Master one area—whether it's reducing approval-seeking or increasing action-taking—before moving to the next.

The six harsh truths Hormozi presents aren't comfortable, but they're accurate. They offer a roadmap from being stuck to being unstuck, from living for others' approval to living authentically, from wanting change to creating it. The question isn't whether these principles work—Hormozi's transformation provides that evidence. The question is whether you're willing to trade your current comfort for your future potential.

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This article was created from video content by Leila Hormozi. The content has been restructured and optimized for readability while preserving the original insights and voice.